This guest post and experience report was written by Kitteh . The first publication appeared at Zartbitternacht .

Anyone who has been following my blog for a long time knows that I often write about topics that have something to do with myself. self love, Self-consciousness, Self-care... but one of the most beautiful self-topics is still missing: masturbation! That's what today should be about. I don't want to deprive you of a test pack from Naturally Naughty inspired me to write this post. In addition to my thoughts and inspirations on the subject of masturbation, you will also find a small product review from me. Have fun with it!

Why we (not) need to talk about masturbation

Everywhere we are subliminally or directly rubbed sex under our noses. Boobs, ass, booty, choke me daddy, here a harness, there a pair of leggings that leaves nothing to the imagination. Even masturbation is no longer something that we (have to) keep silent about. Men usually find it a bit easier than women. It's probably because our language has produced very creative terms when it comes to a man masturbating (wanking, rubbing, stroking, jerking off, milking, masturbating...). While we women just masturbate. (Yes, okay. There are certainly other descriptions for us as well. But just the fact that I can't think of any at the moment says it all, doesn't it?) Most of the time - regardless of gender - it stays with the fact that we just say: Yes, I do it myself sometimes. We rarely talk about how, when, why and what it does to you, or only with our closest friends. That's okay too!

Your masturbation is your business

Because masturbation is simply a super personal, individual topic. Why should I trumpet in world history that I like watching gangbang porn while doing it, that wet hair doesn't work or that I have to listen to Rammstein while doing it? After all, it's nobody's business and doesn't need to be judged. Incidentally, I have a similar opinion when it comes to talking to adolescents about masturbation in the context of enlightenment. Of course it's good and important to let them know that it's a completely normal part of their sexuality. One should and must create and respect privacy. But not only spatially. Also in the head, in that not everything is talked to death and every exciting fantasy is explained away.

A completely wrong picture

There are a few reasons to speak up, nonetheless. For example, when I look at how female masturbation is portrayed in porn. There are two extremes: Either a woman lies in a candlelit bathtub and listens to Seal while treating her vagina like a newborn dwarf hamster. Or she's doing the splits in front of the camera, her high heels behind her head. Her fingers make movements similar to mine when I clean our grill. I don't find any of it particularly authentic. The only bad thing is when people who consume such videos adapt these “techniques”. One thing should be said: No one has scratched a main prize like this before. That's not the only reason why there has to be realistic inspiration on the subject of masturbation from time to time.

Masturbation is self-care whether you want it or not

When we do it ourselves, we do it ONLY FOR US. But we also say that when we paint our eyelids pink, eat lettuce instead of ravioli, do lunges and use sugar paste to wax our buttocks. Something iffy. With masturbation, on the other hand, we can be absolutely sure that it's really just about doing something for ourselves. (Besides, it's what you do for a living.) What could be a greater act of self-care? The word masturbation alone says it all: you masturbate yourself. You make yourself happy with what you do. Not your environment, not society, not your partner. Just yourself. Maybe you don't consider it "self-care" when you masturbate. But in the end, that's exactly what it is.

The full solo potential

I think everyone who reads this article will have done it themselves. But not everyone taps into his/her full potential. Anyone who says masturbation is more boring than “real sex” may not have optimized the whole thing properly. Because masturbation IS real sex – with you! What more ingenious conditions for the ultimate climax could there be? No one who changes tempo at the wrong moment, pushes too little, stops or continues. Only you, who knows exactly how it works best.

Admittedly, another person you may even like, love, or at least want to impress can be a certain motivation to try harder than you would if you were playing solo. It's also completely okay not to try something new every time you masturbate, to take a lot of time or to spin whole sex scripts together. Sometimes you just want to relax, you're horny or you want to be able to fall asleep better. It's the same with sex for two.

But to basically limit masturbation to a primitive act of orgasm is really a waste given the possibilities. Isn't there something you've always wanted to try? Dildos, clamps, water, anal fantasies, vibration, porn, squirting... There is a wide range of toys or practices that are at least as much fun alone as with two.

Naturally Naughty - My Experience

I mentioned at the beginning that Naturally Naughty products inspired me to write this article for you. From what I've said so far, you can probably imagine that I'm a big fan of masturbation. You would even say that I have about 50% of my orgasms with me alone. That's why variety is always welcome. So when my ex-deviance colleague Kat offered to review the Naturally Naughty massage oil and spray, I immediately said yes.

I already knew ginger as a kick during sex from figging. That's a BDSM practice, uber that I was once allowed to research and write . Gingerol, the essential oil in ginger, has a warming effect. Applied to mucous membranes, it triggers a tingling, even a burning sensation. The blood circulation is stimulated, everything becomes more sensitive and touches more intense. Naturally Naughty has packaged gingerol (along with a few other natural ingredients) into two easy-to-use bottles: Ginge Massage Oil and Ginger Spray.

The Ginger Massage Oil

First I tested the harmless-looking massage oil. Because since my last cystitis I had respect for a "burning" underneath. It has to be said that my boyfriend and I tend not to like massages and massage ourselves reluctantly, if at all. But the oil kept its promises even during the loveless five minutes of stroking around the rum and got nice and warm. We might not be the kings when it comes to massaging, but we can do other things all the better together. But because we didn't wash our hands properly after the massage tragedy, the massage oil had its second test right away. Here I have to say - and this is my very personal perception - in combination with penetration, the effect is actually too much for me. I mentally wavered the whole time between "oh exciting" and "Mayday Mayday!". Others will definitely enjoy this ride on a knife's edge, I not so much.

The ginger spray

After I booked the experience with the massage oil as definitely expandable, I tested the spray soon afterwards - this time all by myself. That was good because I could really take my time and approach things slowly without having to look out for someone else. It was super exciting! Without direct penetration there was no “sharp burning” and I enjoyed a warming effect. The stimulation was actually much more intense and could be dosed better. Because “the engine stays warm”, the ginger spray supports multiple orgasms for me. The afterburn effect is noticeable, but not uncomfortable at all, it just keeps the arousal a little longer than you're used to. The Ginger Spray has convinced me and is now a permanent guest in my bedside table drawer.

Give yourself satisfaction

If you want to upspice your own masturbation, you can find all the information about Naturally Naughty products and the online shop here . Of course, as a new kinkfluencer, I also have a small discount code, which is quite simple: Kitteh

Of course, you don't necessarily need natural tutoring to get hot. Nevertheless, I can only advise everyone not to value masturbation less than your sex with other people. You can be worth it. After all, we take our time with our skin care and research the best products for our skin type. Or we shop and cook and eat our favorite pasta after spending 20 minutes searching Netflix for the perfect show. So why not research cool new toy trends and click through porn? Why not put on headphones, listen to stories, and don't just touch yourself between your legs?

Sex is part of us that we can take care of just as well as our teeth, memory, hair and digestion. The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate to others how you function. No, you don't have to tell everyone you bang your pussy about ginger recently or why you're grinning like that during your peloton workout. Maybe you only talk about it with people who like to give your privates as much attention as you do.

Photo: Kitteh